tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post9194658958390315649..comments2015-07-13T18:32:36.604+01:00Comments on Haisla's Adventures in Endoland: Depresso-festHaislahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00447101581192623859noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-64350516675141936872014-07-13T21:59:31.552+01:002014-07-13T21:59:31.552+01:00Thanks Northern Star and Jessah for your compassio...Thanks Northern Star and Jessah for your compassionate comments. It is really reassuring to know that there can be so much light and hope and joy found 'on the other side' (be 'the other side' reached through adoption, egg donation or whatever means - I've been following both your journeys and they just give me so much hope) once all the sadness and pain has been processed through. xxHaislahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00447101581192623859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-48754508704679428712014-07-02T14:58:46.261+01:002014-07-02T14:58:46.261+01:00You're a beautiful writer and have captured my...You're a beautiful writer and have captured my feelings with this post. I'm sorry you're in the part of IF where is sucks and nothing happens. But thankfully, we do evolve and grow and maybe someday not having your bio child won't be the worst thing in the world. As I move into egg donation (something I thought would be a horrifying if the doctor determined it was my best chance of success) and I'm actually excited and happy. Wishing you all the best on your journey…because as you so eloquently wrote…it is a process. Hugs to you!Jessah @ Dreaming of Dimpleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02945119397487785737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-62694619339802657122014-06-27T22:52:17.847+01:002014-06-27T22:52:17.847+01:00Hi Haisla,
Oh man, I wish there was something I c...Hi Haisla,<br /><br />Oh man, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel even a tiny bit better. I have endo myself and so I know what you're going through. Month after month I faced the same cycle - ovulation pain, then more pain (always wondering if it was implantation pain, the first symptoms of pregnancy, etc.), followed by my period (accompanied by more pain). Worse than the pain was the heartache that once again my body had failed to create or sustain a baby.<br /><br />So I get it.<br /><br />I am now a mama through open adoption and for our family, it is awesome. It took us a long time to get to where we are today (happy parents of a thriving, laughing, beautiful 16 month old little girl), but I can honestly say that the heartache has made me a better, more appreciative, more present mom.<br /><br />Wishing you all the best on your journey. Hugs.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14896931627340645963noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-89266623662874367102014-06-27T02:29:01.091+01:002014-06-27T02:29:01.091+01:00Hi from ICLW. You're right, having a space to ...Hi from ICLW. You're right, having a space to rant and rave IS helpful. I know it helped me after my miscarriage. HUGSAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10343606584616266917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-72035466106334643962014-06-24T23:27:53.655+01:002014-06-24T23:27:53.655+01:00Thanks so much all of you for your kind comments (...Thanks so much all of you for your kind comments (soon I'll need to learn how to respond to each comment individually, but for now I'll just have to make do with a group reply). <br /><br />It really is just so reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Sometimes I wonder whether I might be going a little insane with all of this.. I think CD1 is the worst what with the terrible hormone come-down coupled with the crushing realisation that yet another cycle has ended in a failure. It's tough, having to continually grieve yet another mini-loss, with nothing tangible show for it. <br /><br />I am feeling much more chipper now. It's so helpful to have a little space to rant and rave. I feel like I got it out of me system. Thank goodness for the blogosphere and thanks for your support! Am ready to soldier on again.. : )Haislahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00447101581192623859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-55998887635691539052014-06-24T22:55:11.373+01:002014-06-24T22:55:11.373+01:00I would POAS after my trigger shot just to remembe...I would POAS after my trigger shot just to remember what a BFP looked like. I would lie and say I was testing out my trigger but that was never really true. <br /><br />I totally understand how you feel that even a chemical would bring a level of encouragement. My last IUI was a chemical and I found so much encouragement that, at the very least, sperm met egg. First time in over a year. <br />No way am I judging you for feeling that way.RHMummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11288679777324292266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-17932935224546382172014-06-24T20:21:41.371+01:002014-06-24T20:21:41.371+01:00Haisla! I am following your blog, but it doesn'...Haisla! I am following your blog, but it doesn't seem to come up in my reader. I popped over to check in, and am only seeing this now.<br />This: "who will I be when (if) the much expected finally happens? Because as well as being gnawed away, it feels like something else is growing back to replace the bits that were injured or lost. Something tougher and more leathery. Like emotional scar tissue."<br />Exactly. I am worried I will lose myself in this process, which doesn't have nice neat end points or clear cut decisions, but just endless ifs and maybes.<br />I'm sorry you ended up back on day one. I hope day 6 is treating you better, and that you did something nice for yourself while in the mourning period (pun intended).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-64738756790722150102014-06-24T20:18:01.934+01:002014-06-24T20:18:01.934+01:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03897922049137293023noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-42073999564280640822014-06-24T02:23:00.907+01:002014-06-24T02:23:00.907+01:00We've all been through this (and who knows how...We've all been through this (and who knows how many more times we will in the future), so I can totally relate. That elusive BFP that feels so easy for people around us! We should be used to this by now, but it never gets easier, does it? <br />Hope you are feeling better now, and ready to soldier on (again)..TwoPlusOnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01429596455847160803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-9687909385841503202014-06-23T19:17:41.532+01:002014-06-23T19:17:41.532+01:00Hi from ICLW... so sorry you're going through ...Hi from ICLW... so sorry you're going through this. Infertility sucks. Lisa Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12098877420537539409noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-15267335132763291052014-06-23T02:09:19.442+01:002014-06-23T02:09:19.442+01:00Oh man, do I feel you. I just spent three years of...Oh man, do I feel you. I just spent three years of nothing and feeling exactly like you do here - like walking around in circles in an empty room, trying to find a door, and starting care less and less about what's on the other side of the door as long as I can GO THROUGH.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08526322654418355178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-68474635925785385632014-06-23T01:55:24.239+01:002014-06-23T01:55:24.239+01:00I have never had any pregnancies, never seen a rea...I have never had any pregnancies, never seen a real (non-trigger) BFP. And I can totally relate to your comment about wanting to see a BFP, even if it ends in a chemical pregnancy or miscarriage (both are HORRIBLE things). I know either scenario would probably break me more than I already am, but at least it would be SOMETHING. I feel like I've been in and will probably be in this place again many more times. Infertility sucks.Jessica Martinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07974420232451955131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-77146064080509588422014-06-22T09:54:45.080+01:002014-06-22T09:54:45.080+01:00Thanks Jen for dropping by. I just wanted to say t...Thanks Jen for dropping by. I just wanted to say that it's not always as awful as this. Sometimes the awfulness just seems to condense and then requires release. Thanks for your kind words..xHaislahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00447101581192623859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3761683084567008890.post-6080166694559075292014-06-21T20:34:50.871+01:002014-06-21T20:34:50.871+01:00Hi from ICLW, I am so sorry you have go through t...Hi from ICLW, I am so sorry you have go through this. I know it sucks. Chin up!Jen https://www.blogger.com/profile/03342697002647213656noreply@blogger.com