Haisla's Adventures in Endoland

The meds arrived yesterday.

And I am feeling decidedly unenthused.

It's weird. This is the thing that I've been waiting for the past, ummm, I don't know, year or so, and now that it's here I feel strangely calm and reluctant to hop back on the roller coaster of crazy.

I managed to whip myself into such a frenzy last year, desperate for things to happen, for this journey to move on, and in the past months I've kind of found a strange new sense of serenity (or maybe gotten used to the 'new normal' of being in an eternal limbo) and I am sort of a bit bereft that it's coming to an end soon as I know that whichever way this IVF cycle will go, there will be heightened emotions involved. I think I may have overdone it with heightened emotions last year and now I'm all emotioned-out.

Or maybe I am keeping myself safely numb in preparation for whatever is to come.

So the meds are here (partly strewn across the dinner table, partly piled away in the fridge), we had the nurse's appointment on Wednesday to confirm the programme and I will start jabbing myself with Suprecur on Friday. No nasal spray for me it turns out, but thankfully the needle is tiny, to the point where I may be able to overcome my needle phobia and do the jabbing myself. Counselling appointment is booked for 2nd April and first scan for 13th.

I think this might really be happening..