Haisla's Adventures in Endoland

I've got an interview for a new job!!!

I am super nervous and excited.

I had literally given up this job as dead and buried since it took them more than two weeks to invite me for an interview after their closing date. I had done the psychological pep talk about how it was probably for the best and 'not meant to be' and how there were probably a ton of very high quality candidates (the job pays more than my current one with less responsibility - eeeep) and that in the greater scheme of things it would probably have been horrible to have had to negotiate the terms and conditions for an IVF cycle with a new employer.

And yet here I am with an interview (and an informal visit to boot tomorrow) lined up in two weeks' time.

I don't want to think too much about the future since the job is certainly not in the bag yet, but I am nervous either way. Luckily I still have my 'oh, well, it's probably for the best' self-spiel tugged away for a  later date, but I genuinely don't quite know what will happen if I do get this job..

I don't think it's realistic that I will be able to squeeze an IVF cycle out of the NHS in the next three months (which is the length of my notice period).. and yet I don't think I could be so brazen as to ask for time off for an IVF in my first few weeks in a new job..

Shitety-shit-shit. And I really would like this job. As said the money would be better, the job is far less stressful and far less high-risk (i.e. with less chaotic client group) and it's in an area of the field that I have genuine interest in.

However, if I do get offered this job and take it, will I be sacrificing my small window of opportunity for a biological family (by having to postpone IVF treatments potentially by months)? And if I don't get this job will I be doing the same by being in a high-stress job that is certainly not conducive to me getting pregnant?

Oh, the dilemmas of the developed world.

I have decided to take the 'que sera, sera' attitude for now, as I can't really affect the outcome of this scenario (apart from turning down the interview, which I am not going to do..).

Anyway, in a more directly infertility related news, we're approx. one week away from our fourth and final IUI cycle (I've got a feeling we may have missed the ovulation window this month - the progesterone may have made my last cycle seem longer than it actually was and eaten a few cycle days from this cycle, so when we finally managed to have some bedroom action I fear it may have been in vain for baby making purposes) after which we should hopefully have the talk with our Doc about moving on to IVF-land.

I've also started spotting on CD 17 (three days after supposed ovulation, so certainly not implantation bleed) so something's rotten in the state of my uterine lining, which I am going to discuss with Dr Dutchess when I see her in couple of weeks' time..

I am still toying with the idea of getting some immunology testing done (I've ordered and started reading 'Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?: Unexplained Infertility, Miscarriage and IVF Failure, Explained' by Alan E. Beer et al from Amazon that comes highly recommended in relation to this - I'll probably write another post about it soon) before we embark on the NHS paid IVF, just to maximise our chances. I know the immunology stuff is highly controversial, but I am still convinced that my endometriosis and immune system have something to do with our lack of babies.

The problem is that the testing is fairly expensive (we're talking thousands of pounds here) and the treatments are fairly pricey too. I would just like to speak to someone who is an expert in the field and try to get a sense of which tests might be useful.. Obviously I will go in with some cynicism attached as even the best infertility clinics are in the business of making money and therefore potentially likely to recommend the most expensive tests and treatments to everyone that walks through their doors. Hopefully I am savvy enough these days to smell a rat and a well rehearsed sales-speech a mile away..

But for now I better go do some research on my potential new employer so that I can approach tomorrow's informal visit with the required levels of knowledge and inquisitiveness.