Tumbling Through the Rabbit Hole...
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Through the rabbit hole

Posted by Haisla Saturday, 3 August 2013

I have been stalking so many infertility blogs for so many months that I guess it's time to come out of hiding and declare myself infertile. I'm not entirely sure how I ended up here, it does truly feel like I stumbled through the rabbit hole and it's taken a while to re-orient myself. I guess no-one sets out to be infertile, and I too started off on the TTC adventure with high hopes and even higher expectations. Give us a couple of months and we'd be pregnant. Couple of months turned into a year, a year into eighteen months and the pleasurable baby-making sessions into a bit of a chore.

In came the OPKs, BBT thermometers, charting apps and other paraphernalia that would have been so foreign to me in my previous life as a fertile. Then I found the infertility blogging community and finally felt like I wasn't so alone in this strange and mind-boggling land.

I really came to admire the tenacity of the women I encountered  on the infertility blogs and felt uplifted (and at times really really saddened) by their experiences. What has been most amazing is the solidarity and support within this hidden world and I guess that's what I am trying to tap into, to find some guides on this journey and perhaps act as a guide for others. We're not alone, and all the feelings of frustration, sadness, depression, anger, rage, acceptance, denial, hope etc. etc. that come with infertility are shared by so many others.

I've learnt so much about IUIs, IVFs, meds, protocols through these blogs that I feel like we should all immediately be awarded with some kind of honorary medical degrees as compensation for all our troubles.

So here I am declaring myself to be one of you, an infertile. And I declare this blog to be mine to rant, rave, vent and use as necessary until I can find my way home from the endoland, hopefully with a take home baby.


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