Tumbling Through the Rabbit Hole...
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3 dpiui + Desperately Seeking Juno

Posted by Haisla Monday, 12 May 2014

Warning: the following post is full of post-ovulation, hormone come-down negativity. Please proceed with caution..

I'm 3 dpiui and have had mild ovarian pains radiating from my pelvic region all day..

I am fully aware that it's way too early for this to be anything pregnancy related, but am just a little concerned for my over-worked ovaries. I hope I'm not burning them out in the process.

Of course I then had to google '3 dpiui and mild ovary pain' and found out that it's quite normal after taking Clomid. It could be the ruptured follicle, it could be a cyst, it could just the moans and groans of an over-heated ovary. So nothing to worry about, I guess..

I've also been thinking about what is causing our infertility and my thoughts keep on returning to this article that I read in the papers some weeks ago.

What if I am missing the Juno protein and M's sperm isn't even aware of the presence of my egg in the fallopian tube? What good will IUI be to us then? And could it explain why nothing is catching; why we've never even gotten a vaguely positive pregnancy test?

If that is the case, my mild worry then snowballs into a massive anxiety avalanche regarding our (potential) future NHS funded IVF round. My understanding is that NHS does not offer ICSI as a matter of course, or potentially ever (if anyone's got personal experience of the contrary, please, please let me know through the comments section, I would really appreciate it). So if I'm missing the Juno particle (or protein or whatever), standard IVF won't do us any good and there's a possibility that we'll waste our one free chance of IVF and won't even get anything to freeze for a FET cycle. And then we'll have to spend thousands of pounds on more cycles, more time, more potential heart ache.

So these are the current anxieties floating in my head. I was kind of hoping that by writing them down I could somehow control them a little better, but no dice.

I don't suppose there is a simple, easy test to check the presence or absence of Juno in my system.

How I sometimes dream of blissful ignorance when it comes to all things reproductive. The more I learn about the many ways in which human reproduction can fail, the more I start despairing about our situation and wonder how anyone, seriously, ever manages to get knocked up. How?!!

Blah.. I just have to wait out this TWW and then take all my anxieties to my Doc (should this cycle be a bust) and hope that they'll have some answers or solutions or magic beads..

Until then, I will do my best to seek out distractions.


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