Tumbling Through the Rabbit Hole...
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Whilst I've been gone

Posted by Haisla Friday, 6 February 2015

I realise that this blog has become a bit of a 'this is what happened whilst I was gone' journal..

In the past months I've just needed to step back from TTC and the lovely IF community whilst our waiting limbo has continued.

You may remember that in early December we were due to see our Fertility Doc at our local clinic to discuss next steps.

The good news is: IVF is our next step

The bad(ish) news: We cannot have IVF at the same clinic as the IUIs (they do not provide the service)

So in the past two months we have needed to have our application for IVF funding approved (check), choose a fertility clinic out of a choice of four (check - it was a tough choice, but we went for convenience of travel, shortest waiting list and reasonable stats re: outcomes), have our STI tests re-done (check - second time in two years - as if we'd had time to be have extra-marital affairs what with all this TTC nonsense), and get our referral successfully sent to the chosen clinic (check).

So far all the above has happened and actually taken place at quite an astonishing speed. For all my moaning and groaning about the inefficiencies and sluggishness of the NHS, I must say that I'm impressed.

We now have an appointment for our chosen clinic on Tues 09/02/2015 to discuss our IVF treatment. Considering that we had our last appointment at the previous clinic on 09/12/2014, I would call this a modern miracle.

Of course there have been some minor hitches to the ride: we didn't receive an invite letter for the appointment, just a text message reminding us of the appointment we weren't even aware of. Thank goodness for their automated text message service. I wouldn't have been best pleased if we'd missed the appointment because of their admin error. But all in all and compared to previous experiences this has been plain sailing.

So, what have I been doing in the meantime whilst waiting for all of this to happen? Well, I've mainly been sick (I had a vomiting bug just before Christmas, caught a cold during Christmas holidays, have had a couple of minor colds throughout January and now a real killer cold that started last weekend and floored me yesterday); we have also had (despite my diseases) copious amounts of amazing (non-TTC) sex (we made a pact that now that the big guns are almost out, we'll no longer torture ourselves with timed intercourse, but have a tumble when the feeling takes us) and on top of that I have waded my way though a pile of trashy romantic novels. So in one word I have distanced myself as far as possible from TTC. Which has meant that I have also read fewer blogs and done so less often and generally been a bad blogger and commenter. For this I apologise, but sincerely, I only did it to preserve my sanity.

So much sadness and joy is contained within the blogosphere (happily many of my favourite bloggers have gotten their long awaited BFPs, but so many also struggle with losses and failed cycles), that sometimes the breadth and depth of emotion just becomes overwhelming. So I step back and drown myself in fiction, because in trashy novels you always know you get your happy ending.

But hey, here I am dipping my toes back into the blogosphere again to see how it feels, and so far, it ain't too bad.


Jessica Howard said...

I love this: "but have a tumble when the feeling takes us".
FWIW - that's pretty much how I ended up pregnant.

I can't wait to read more and, as always, wishing you luck!

Ostrich said...

Good for you taking a break. I've had to take a step back several times over this journey, sometimes to recenter but also to remind myself that there are other things in life besides trying to have a baby. Yes! Yes, there are! And those other things are what lead to a full, beautiful life.

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