Tumbling Through the Rabbit Hole...
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Running on empty

Posted by Haisla Sunday, 30 November 2014

Life has become so hectic in the run up to Christmas that it's a bit scary.

I am looking at my diary and between now and Christmas I've got exactly one full weekend off when I won't be working. Other than that there's always a Saturday or a Sunday when there's something work related going on - be it a Christmas Carol concert or a Fayre.

I sort of knew that this is the way it would be this year, but it's still a little scary. I've got a few annual leave days still to take this year (which I was saving for our blessed IVF), but which I just cannot for love nor money fit in before Christmas. My plan is to talk to my line manager and see whether they could be rolled over into next year. It's normally a little frowned upon, but I could really do with those days, since next year is likely the year when we'll finally embark on IVF. My line manager is normally a fairly understanding and reasonable man, so I hope he'll go with it.

Since things are so hectic work-wise I have started a regime of self care, which included a massage the weekend before last. It was a cheapo-cheapo last minute one and I wasn't thoroughly impressed with the quality. My masseuse was very pleasant, but kind of stingy with the massage oil (I nearly felt like reminding her to top it up half-way through but politeness got the better of me). She also seemed to have no problem with massaging my spine (which I thought is a big no-no?) and it left me feeling a bit bruised and battered afterwards. M. seemed happy enough with his massage but a little scared of his masseuse who had a tendency to bark orders at him. It did leave me wondering at the legitimacy of their qualifications. I think we've mutually decided not to return there for a follow-up.

Anyway, both M. and I agree that monthly massage is the way forward, we'll just have to choose our provider a bit more carefully. M. found a good deal for an introductory 1h massage in a place near to us. I think we'll sample that one next. It's just nice to be doing something that is good for us for a change and I'm so glad that M, too, is on-board.

The upside with this crazy pre-Christmas busy-ness is that I've hardly had time to fret our infertility and our next doctor's appointment is only a week and a bit away. It's kind of crept up on us. I really need to get my stress levels in check before next year though, as my understanding is that it takes three months for eggs to mature.. And at the moment mine are stewing in a nice cocktail of stress hormones. Not good.

I really don't know whether I'll get much blogging done before Christmas. Things are pretty uneventful on the TTC front, but I'll try to ping something out after our IVF(?) appointment. It's just hard to fit anything extra in when all I want to do when I get home is collapse in front of the TV on our sofa and fall asleep. Again, not good.

I still read all the lovely blogs on my reading list and can only apologise if my commenting is a little erratic. I will cheer you on from the foggy haze that constitutes my consciousness these days.


Patient Subfertility said...

Good luck at the IVF appointment! It would be nice to have a plan to at least feel like something is happening.

And at least being so busy takes your mind off this awful process.

Haisla said...

Absolutely. Although I hate being busy and over-worked I genuinely haven't had much time to fret about things. A game plan would be nice though, going into the New Year..

TwoPlusOne said...

I can fully relate to work related madness, which unfortunately feels almost year round at my work. I hope you get some relaxing time out of it though. I like the idea of monthly massages, I should think of something similar for myself!
And I always appreciate your comments in my blog bespite the craziness surrounding you. Will be thinking of you this 'holiday' season, and hoping that your ivf journey next year is short and fruitful.

Haisla said...

Thanks, luv! I'm kind of getting my head around the importance of self care on this journey out of infertility. Wishing you a peaceful holiday season, too. May we all be good to ourselves!xx

Haisla said...

Thanks, luv! I'm kind of getting my head around the importance of self care on this mad infertility journey. Wishing you a peaceful holiday season, too. May we all be good to ourselves!xx

pregnant in my forties-hopeful said...

So sorry you had a bad massage. Worth continuing though with your research as a good masseuse, once you find one, is an excellent find!
All the best through the busy weeks. I haven't been busy enough recently and it has got me down, so although it's exhausting, it's great to have your mind taken off things. And so glad you got the commenting sorted!!
Hugs to you Haisla xxx

Haisla said...

Thanks, hon. We're definitely going to carry on looking for a good masseuse. London is a big city, it shouldn't be too hard to find one. I'm just such a cheapskate that I always go for the lowest price and then end up getting what I paid for.

Anyway, being busy has worked for me. I'm just a little worried about what the good-ol stress levels are doing to my fertility. Must relax more! ; ) xx

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