Tumbling Through the Rabbit Hole...
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In other news..

Posted by Haisla Sunday, 28 September 2014

I've got an interview for a new job!!!

I am super nervous and excited.

I had literally given up this job as dead and buried since it took them more than two weeks to invite me for an interview after their closing date. I had done the psychological pep talk about how it was probably for the best and 'not meant to be' and how there were probably a ton of very high quality candidates (the job pays more than my current one with less responsibility - eeeep) and that in the greater scheme of things it would probably have been horrible to have had to negotiate the terms and conditions for an IVF cycle with a new employer.

And yet here I am with an interview (and an informal visit to boot tomorrow) lined up in two weeks' time.

I don't want to think too much about the future since the job is certainly not in the bag yet, but I am nervous either way. Luckily I still have my 'oh, well, it's probably for the best' self-spiel tugged away for a  later date, but I genuinely don't quite know what will happen if I do get this job..

I don't think it's realistic that I will be able to squeeze an IVF cycle out of the NHS in the next three months (which is the length of my notice period).. and yet I don't think I could be so brazen as to ask for time off for an IVF in my first few weeks in a new job..

Shitety-shit-shit. And I really would like this job. As said the money would be better, the job is far less stressful and far less high-risk (i.e. with less chaotic client group) and it's in an area of the field that I have genuine interest in.

However, if I do get offered this job and take it, will I be sacrificing my small window of opportunity for a biological family (by having to postpone IVF treatments potentially by months)? And if I don't get this job will I be doing the same by being in a high-stress job that is certainly not conducive to me getting pregnant?

Oh, the dilemmas of the developed world.

I have decided to take the 'que sera, sera' attitude for now, as I can't really affect the outcome of this scenario (apart from turning down the interview, which I am not going to do..).

Anyway, in a more directly infertility related news, we're approx. one week away from our fourth and final IUI cycle (I've got a feeling we may have missed the ovulation window this month - the progesterone may have made my last cycle seem longer than it actually was and eaten a few cycle days from this cycle, so when we finally managed to have some bedroom action I fear it may have been in vain for baby making purposes) after which we should hopefully have the talk with our Doc about moving on to IVF-land.

I've also started spotting on CD 17 (three days after supposed ovulation, so certainly not implantation bleed) so something's rotten in the state of my uterine lining, which I am going to discuss with Dr Dutchess when I see her in couple of weeks' time..

I am still toying with the idea of getting some immunology testing done (I've ordered and started reading 'Is Your Body Baby-Friendly?: Unexplained Infertility, Miscarriage and IVF Failure, Explained' by Alan E. Beer et al from Amazon that comes highly recommended in relation to this - I'll probably write another post about it soon) before we embark on the NHS paid IVF, just to maximise our chances. I know the immunology stuff is highly controversial, but I am still convinced that my endometriosis and immune system have something to do with our lack of babies.

The problem is that the testing is fairly expensive (we're talking thousands of pounds here) and the treatments are fairly pricey too. I would just like to speak to someone who is an expert in the field and try to get a sense of which tests might be useful.. Obviously I will go in with some cynicism attached as even the best infertility clinics are in the business of making money and therefore potentially likely to recommend the most expensive tests and treatments to everyone that walks through their doors. Hopefully I am savvy enough these days to smell a rat and a well rehearsed sales-speech a mile away..

But for now I better go do some research on my potential new employer so that I can approach tomorrow's informal visit with the required levels of knowledge and inquisitiveness.


JCH4DCU said...

Could this be one of those things that you mention in the interview upfront that you are undoing a minor (stretch of the truth) medical treatment and it would require some sporadic time off early on?

I think, with the right candidate, they're willing to understand. What if you had a planned and paid for vacation? People don't cancel. I think it's less of a big deal than we feel about it when we're playing the scenario out in our heads.

You don't have to be specific since it's just an interview but I'm willing to be that it just won't be considered a big deal.

People have plans months in advance and they understand that.

Patient Subfertility said...

You have outpatient surgery scheduled, right? Why is that so bad?

Anonymous said...

Yay for the interview! You're going to do wonderfully, I know it.

I'm not sure what the laws are in the UK, but in the US it is illegal to ask about anything related to an interviewee's health during the recruitment process. As a policy, I don't offer up any information about my personal business because it is just that-- personal.

Friends of mine who have had similar issues have waited to disclose any needed time off until after the job has been offered. Think of it as part of the negotiation process, after they've decided you're the best fit for the job.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the interview! I agree with Ostrich: discussions of early leave for medical reasons are for post-job offer moments. The interview is all about convincing them they want you, and letting them convince you that you want them! Once everyone is on board (and they will be!), then is the time to work out smaller details.

pregnant in my forties - hopefully! said...

So sorry I missed this! But I really really hope it went well - let us know. More money for less responsibility is my kind of job! I haven't found the ivf too invasive - well, I haven't been working, ha - but it would have worked out as 2 late starts and then a long weekend (Friday and Monday) off with a few days extra after transfer if you can. Will be fine!
Good luck! xx

Haisla said...

Thanks for your comments and suggestions. The 'informal visit' went really well (although it was quite obviously part of the interview), but, man, is that place posh! And it's mainly staffed by men. I think any talk of female reproductive parts would send them on an awkwardness spiral so steep that they mightn't survive the fall..

I am having the main interview on Thursday and my plan is that I won't mention any of this unless and until they do offer me the job (mainly because I haven't got a clue when anything will be happening anyway) and even then would probably try to postpone things until after probation is finished. I think I would probably not go into any great detail even then though, but call it 'a minor procedure' (as many of you have suggested) and ask to take a few weeks off as annual leave.. So that's the plan. Now will just need to ace that interview. : ) xx

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